Mai's

It's true guys, it's true. It's been a while since I last updated my blog. Don't worry though, I have an excuse: first I went on vacation to California, and I got into a beach bum,  drifter lifestyle where the thought of doing actual work just really repulsed me. (Normally this sort of thing would give me anxiety, but in California you don't have anxiety. It's the promised land, guys. I even flew in an airplane without hyperventilating more than a little bit.) Then I came back to Houston, and as the plane landed all the anxiety that I'd been carefully staving away hit me like a Dunbar armored truck - I'd been in California for however many days (beach bums can't count) and I had. not. gotten. discovered. Here I am, just a girl, standing in front of you - just a girl, not a famous movie actress. I failed not only you my faithful audience, but also all the millions of people living in the United States who, for another movie cycle, will once more be deprived of the privilege of seeing me on the silver screen. So why have I managed to come out of this funk, this depression? Well I'll tell you! Arbitrary criticism - that's right, this very blog, has been nominated for a My Table award! To all of my friends that have already said to me, "huh, what's that," I'll tell you. It's a big f&*#$!@ deal, and I'm nominated for one! So if you could please all go vote for me I'd really appreciate it.

Anywho so I went to Mai's the other day because I've been craving pho like a mo-pho. Normally I don't like that kind of thing because you have to put all the sprouts and jalapenos and basil and stuff in yourself; hello I'm not going to a restaurant to make my own dinner guys -2. Lately though I've been all about the Asian soups so off to Mai's I went.

Here's the thing. So I just bought a new car, a 4runner, and it's basically become my whole life. We do everything together, my 4runner and me. We drive to the movies, we drive to the grocery store, we drive to work, we drive to my boyfriend's house... the best part about my 4runner is that I can play my new Mumford and Sons CD as often as I want, and it will never complain. I want my 4runner to have friends outside of myself; after all, that's the sign of a healthy, thriving relationship. To this end, whenever I pull into a parking lot, I always make sure to hunt down an empty spot next to another 4runner. I'll park a block away if it means my car doesn't get lonely while waiting for me to pick up butter. (Also I like to do this because all 4runners look alike and I'm hoping the owner of the other car will get tricked and try to get in the wrong car and comedy will ensue) Sooooooooo, back to our review, I pulled into Mai's and there wasn't a spot available next to the only 4runner in the lot, but there was a spot across the aisle and I figured that would be OK, they'd still be able to see out of their butts at each other. As I was walking in to the restaurant I stopped to peer in through their window to make sure we didn't have the same seat covers so I wouldn't get confused and have comedy ensue; guess what I saw! They had an anti-theft lock across their steering wheel! -13 Who are these people??? I thought only Nigerian princes and people who won the foreign lottery bought stuff like that. I mean hello seriously I know that car theft is a serious crime that affects dozens of people every day and I wouldn't laugh so hard if I'd had my car stolen, but we live in HOUSTON TEXAS. It was in a busy part of town in the middle of the day there was no reason for one of those, they have mounted police on horses we are not in real danger guys. Plus Mai's is a place with table clothes I don't think you're really at risk there c'mon ya'll.

In other news, what is up with making people by themselves eat at the bar? This is just the meanest joke in the world because I get that I don't need room for another person to sit with me, but I'm not the sort of person that can just go to a place and hang out with myself doing nothing. I don't THINK it's because I'm scared of being alone, guys I think it's just because I'm a busy career woman and I checked too many books out of the library and if I can't read my book when I'm eating by myself, then when will I have the chance? -14 So I'm against sitting singles at the bar when there are clearly tables for them to chill at because they have intentionally come at a non-peak hour. We have more need than others for the space on the table, hello if you're there with your lover you could double up on chairs and if you're there for a lunch meeting then I don't recommend ordering the pho anyway, because it's impossible to eat without looking like nobody ever taught you manners and there's no way you'll get anything accomplished!

There was a bright side to the meal though. Well, other than the pho, which was delicious and definitely worth the lack of a parking spot directly next to another 4runner. When my fortune cookie came it said I was going to come in to a large sum of money soon, so hopefully one of the agents I passed by on the sidewalk in Hollywood will be giving me a call soon.