Miyako Sushi

I'll tell you what I love most about Miyako Sushi - their bento boxes. Bento boxes are the compartmentalized trays that are used to serve a variety of foods without them having to touch. I'd never seen one of those before Miyako, though of course I've been exposed to them from my geeky period when I read anime, which I am now announcing to the internet. This is my final confession, now you guys know everything about me. From these anime I learned that bento boxes are really just Japanese style lunch boxes, this is what a Japanese dad would prepare for his daughter before school in grade school. I don't know how to say this without feeling like I'm patronizing an entire culture, but they are seriously the cutest things ever. Little individual slots for each portion, so your pickle doesn't get your ham sandwich wet. Or, you know, whatever they eat for school lunches in Japan. +112 I guess now that I think about it they might be a cheezy thing to put in a restaurant, but I love them. The Japanese have done it. They've found the perfect solution to OCD! Your sauces and sides never ever ever have to touch each other again! I feel like I can finally dine freely again.

They have a turtle pond in the waiting area of their restaurant, which I confess I don't care for. It's similar to koi ponds that other Japanese and Asian restaurants have, with the open top that people throw pennies into. But they weren't koi, they were turtles! I met this guy the other day who's last name was Ready. This is a true story folks not my usual nonsense. After I pried him for the secrets to his success, he told me that the trick was to not make the jokes too often. "You can only say 'I was born ready' so many times before it isn't funny," he told me. "You have to space yourself out." You all know that this is the exact opposite of my comedy ability, and I rely on having the same repertoire of jokes to tell over and over until people laugh again because they feel sorry for me. At restaurants with koi fish, I say, "Oh look, they're growing our dinner." And I think it's so funny because they're koi fish and of course koi fish aren't in sushi, the joke is why would you eat a KOI fish? Get it? It's funny, right? And everyone's looking around like they're wishing they hadn't waited for me to put pants on and just left me behind. But Miyako has turtles instead of koi fish and my humor is much too sophisticated and subtle to point out a wide disparate as that, and I'm forced to spend the evening in sullen silence, my outstanding wit being forced under a rock. -14

There is a mystery to Miyako, however. You guys know how much I love mysteries +24 if only someone would film a crime drama about it, my life would be slick and perfect. So when you walk in, the hostess says, "Would you guys like a table or Japanese style?" Oooh!!! I've always said "table", and I wonder.... what could Japanese style even be! Those people get led off into an entirely separate side of the restaurant. If you're at a table, you have no idea what's going on in that other room. My anime training prepared me for this for sure. I bet you go into the other side of the restaurant and bam! A thousand ninjas drop down from the sky and out from behind the walls. Vengeance, brought down on you from the tiresome path of your fate! All looks lost for you. You close your eyes, and the air around you turns into vertical lines on a white background. You press your palms together, and center your mind. Pow! All of the ninjas explode in a flash of light! In their place sit piles of sushi and bento boxes, already with the pieces drug through the sauce in exactly the way you like. You lay on your back, arms crossed behind your head, and someone feeds you each piece of sushi.

If anyone can confirm this chain of events, please email me at arbitrarycriticism@live.com.