When I was younger like all good American families we ate pizza all the time, or, you know, an average amount of time, I guess you could say. But my dad never had it delivered, we always went and picked it up. "We're Martin's," he never actually said to me. "We go pick up our own food." Look I didn't even really know what delivery was; I was only exposed to this world when I started working in my first pizza restaurant and met an actual delivery driver for the first time. "You just go to peoples houses, and, like, drop off their pizzas for them?" I asked, my eyes open in shock and wonder. "Why don't they just come pick it up for themselves?" Nobody had an answer. Five years and three pizza restaurants in, and still no answer. These delivery drivers, too, they're a bunch of real nice guys. Once one of them brought me a McFlurry. A delivery driver who shall remain nameless, Jacob, used to go out on deliveries and bring back coffees to everyone who had to be awake before noon doing the hard work of making other people pizzas that they then didn't even have to drive away from their house to pick up on their own. Once he lent me the fourth volume of Batman: the Animated Series, too. You know what I'm saying? These delivery drivers aren't so bad. I wouldn't discount them if I were you.
But I never actually ordered delivery on my own until this past Monday. It seemed like something only rich people who lived in West U did. But then I remembered that my zip code too, actually, is in West U, and some of the people who's orders I take on the phone sound like they too are in college. They are ordering deliveries. Why shouldn't I be allowed to? Why shouldn't I? I informed Thomas of this dream of mine, hoping against hope that he wouldn't laugh at me, wouldn't tell me that sure, we could order delivery together, once we moved up into the next tax bracket and started wearing ties to work and having other people shine our shoes in the airport. But he didn't! He didn't laugh! He took my by the hand, showed me the Golden Cafe brochure, helped me calculate to the minimum delivery, even offered to eat half the food I selected. He called it in (I was too nervous, too unsure) and in twenty minutes there was a knock at the door. Money changed hands, and a bag of hot steamy rice was pressed into my arms. I had won. I had food that other people had made, brought to me with absolutely no effort on my part at all. +19842 Another chapter in my life has truly been opened. Emboldened by my success, last night I ordered a sandwich from Jimmy Johns, who will deliver JUST ONE SANDWICH, with NO DELIVERY CHARGE. Maybe some of you know, from my bedroom door, it's actually a few paces shorter to walk to the front door to let in the delivery guy than to the refrigerator. I never have to even make my own sandwiches again! I never have to leave my apartment! You know what I read on the internet? Rice Epicurean delivers groceries! I can get Taylor Swift's new album (in stores October 22) off of iTunes! My new life goal is to quit all my jobs, find something to do over the internet, and then become a shut in, leaving my home only a few hours a day, to go to the movies and maybe ice skating from time to time to keep my bones from atrophying. I'll take vitamin D pills. I'll get those little hand squeezers that have rubber balls in them that work on your grip strength. Gosh I love America.
The reason I needed delivery though guys is because I don't know if you know this, but Major Crimes, TNT's spin-off of the Closer, comes on Monday nights. I'm in class during it's original air time, but I get my man to tape it for me and feed me food that I usually make only a nominal attempt to help prepare. This Monday, obviously, my only real work was to open the door for the delivery guy. Still, are you guys following this show? Are you watching it? I was a little bit leery of the Closer continuing without Kyra Sedgewick, but like all of her fans, I didn't want the show to end! I couldn't give it up! And I have to say, I'm not disappointed. Following Rusty's struggle through the discovery of his birth father and his great strides through his trust issues is really touching. Coupled with the Google Chrome commercial they show every episode, I find myself getting very emotional. +76 Its very good you should all watch it. Make sure you order delivery while you do so you don't have to waste any time preparing dinner, it's very important that you don't miss a minute!
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