I arrived at La Mexicana today after a devastating morning. Having completely bought into the ramen craze that is sweeping the nation's tastebuds (or at least my tastebuds) I set out this morning to Nippon on Montrose. Guess what guys, it's closed on Monday, meaning I had to make alternative plans for lunch. After a succession of similar blows, I found myself in the Montrose area, mourning the fact that I had paid full price for a shirt at Target that showed boob sweat in a really visible way, almost unable to go on. My boyfriend had pulled his car into the parking lot of La Mexicana and was waiting expectantly for me to follow him in. Would I be able to? Would I have a nervous breakdown? Would I ever eat again? I'll spoil the ending for you guys: there was a 4runner in the parking lot at La Mexicana with an open spot next to it -and they were open on a Monday and for lunch- yes. I was able to have breakfast. This just goes to show, 4runner owners of America - leaving a parking spot open for you on one side for other 4runner owners really does change lives.
Let's talk about the salsa here at La Mexicana. You know how lots of Mexican restaurants have two bowls of salsa, one green and one red? And the green salsa, no matter how good it tastes, always has the consistency of boogers? Just real thick and mucus-y? Look I know it's real gross, but I kind of like it. It's like the texture of okra, which is something I've been eating a lot of lately. (The only thing about okra is that the seeds come back out whole, which is a bit alarming if you know what I mean :/) Anyway so yeah at La Mexicana, the red salsa tastes like it has a ground up jellyfish in it, too! I just think it's wonderful, because I normally don't like the flavoring of tomatillo sauce but I do like the flavor; it's perfect, they've just combined the things that I love and made them into THE PERFECT SALSA. +14 Thank you La Mexicana, it was worth not eating ramen.
Except here's the thing: if I'd had a bowl of ramen instead of a bowl of chicken tortilla soup, when it came to my table it would all be in one bowl instead of the THREE SEPARATE BOWLS I was given to hold the chicken soup, the tortilla, and the cheese and avocado. Seriously guys???? If I'd wanted to make my own dinner I would have stayed at home! -9 The problem with this is when you give me a side dish of cheese, it's not going to go into my soup guys, it's just not! I'm going to take a pinch of it, "just for a taste", and then it's going to taste good so I'll have another, and then another and another and before I know it there's a cube of cheese in my soup and the rest has been pre-eaten. Same guys for the avocado, and don't even get me started on tortilla strips, guys. I just don't get what the big deal is I mean it's soup. If I didn't want to eat all that stuff I could just eat around it you know, there's no reason to have a create your own adventure here.
Look but more than anything, here's why I love this place: they sell Obleas! You know, that treat from Mexico where it's a pair of wafers and in between is caramel made from goat milk?? Or something??? Either way I think these things are the best thing in the world. The first time I ever had one I was like six or seven and my aunt went to Mexico City and sent us a package and I'm sure there were lots of very cool things in there, but all I remember are the Obleas (and this neat-o Mayan sculpture she sent to my brother that I always thought was really awesome because it had real gold flakes in it, but now as I'm typing this I'm finally realizing that she probably did not send a nine year old boy a whole sculpture filled with gold flakes, and also that statue was not even heavy enough to be filled with gold, and also my whole childhood is now ruined.) Anyways so I've been addicted to them ever since, spending lots of time in Mexico (A note to Homeland Security: This is a bit of exaggeration that comes down to about three weeks in the past six years), crying whenever my stash runs out. These things are awesome life changers, and now I know where to find them here in Houston! Look guys there's probably a lot of places you can buy them, not least of which is Fiesta, but I was having a bad day when these appeared and I'd thank you not to judge me. +20
Monday, August 12, 2013
Friday, August 9, 2013
Oishii
In case you guys didn't know, Oishii is the new cool place (as opposed to the cool new place; Oishii has definitely been there for a while and everybody but us is going there) to go to in Upper Kirby. I'm getting my information from my best friend, who has been going there for over a year which means she's way cooler than the rest of us, and the people that I babysit for, who also have recently been going there and also are cooler than the rest of us. These guys have a loyal fan base and an excellent happy hour, and a relatively small parking lot to go with all this. It's the type of combination that Houstonians love. Let's get with the program people!!!
Look let's get this straight: the very best part about Oishii (besides the fact that during there happy hour they have buy one get one free appetizers and $1.25 domestic beers) is their ceiling tiles. I cannot make it clear enough: their ceiling tiles are the best in the entire country! They're gold and they have engravings of dragons and more dragons and other things that Asian restaurants like, like koi fish and more dragons. +12 It's pretty inspiring guys. The ceiling at my apartment complex has just a regular white, textured ceiling with no character at all, and up until I went to Oishii I thought that my apartment was pretty rad. Now I know. Now I know that my apartment has the most boring ceilings in the world, apart from regular white ceilings with no texture at all. I don't know that I necessarily have the pizzazz to pull off gold dragon tiles, but I think there are some options that I can explore in the future. Maybe I could install a series of velvet Elvises, covering the entirety of my room. This would have the added benefit of making it look like I lived in an opium den. I'm also thinking of a decorative covering patterned with tiger stripes, but that might be too 80's porn star. A final thought would be to have some sort of edible hanging; maybe like bananas or kiwis or something, and then trade out my carpet for tampolines, but I think maybe that wouldn't work out with my current set up. These are just some ideas, I'll obviously have to consult my lease before I start any major renovations.
Here's what else is cool. Guess what they wrap their sushi in! Well, obviously, I mean it's mostly seaweed, I don't think that should come as a surprise to anybody, but their soy paper? Is pink!!! Is that not the cutest thing you've ever heard of?? +28 This means it's highly possible for them to have Catherine Martin themed sushi rolls. Which is another thing that they do. Create custom sushi rolls for their customers, and actually put them on the menu, that is. Like they have a Kennedy roll, and a Rachel roll, and one day they're going to have a Catherine Martin roll, and it's going to have a pink soy wrapper and spicy tuna and strawberries and other pink things inside it, and people are going to buy it and think they are donating a portion of their profits to breast cancer, but really I just like the color pink a whole lot.
Look here's what I didn't like. I drank a bottle of Kirin Ichiban when I was there, which is a type of Japanese beer I believe. I drank it because it was happy hour, and foreign beers were priced at $1.75 and Melissa got one and let's face it guys, I'm a follower. I don't even like beer and I got one because Melissa did. Yes, if all my friends jumped off a bridge, I probably would too, especially if it wasn't a particularly high bridge and there was water underneath and not any snakes and I'd practiced to get my swan dive shallow enough. Look here's the thing, I want everyone to know that Japanese beer tastes just as gross as American beer. -9 I don't want to get political here, but people on the internet need to stop making fun of all countries other than Canada (people never make fun of people from Canada because people from Canada are so nice. The exception to this is of course Justin Beiber, who everyone makes fun of but forgets is from Canada) because we're all united by our ability to make really gross beer. I hope this brings everyone together, it was a message to the world.
Look let's get this straight: the very best part about Oishii (besides the fact that during there happy hour they have buy one get one free appetizers and $1.25 domestic beers) is their ceiling tiles. I cannot make it clear enough: their ceiling tiles are the best in the entire country! They're gold and they have engravings of dragons and more dragons and other things that Asian restaurants like, like koi fish and more dragons. +12 It's pretty inspiring guys. The ceiling at my apartment complex has just a regular white, textured ceiling with no character at all, and up until I went to Oishii I thought that my apartment was pretty rad. Now I know. Now I know that my apartment has the most boring ceilings in the world, apart from regular white ceilings with no texture at all. I don't know that I necessarily have the pizzazz to pull off gold dragon tiles, but I think there are some options that I can explore in the future. Maybe I could install a series of velvet Elvises, covering the entirety of my room. This would have the added benefit of making it look like I lived in an opium den. I'm also thinking of a decorative covering patterned with tiger stripes, but that might be too 80's porn star. A final thought would be to have some sort of edible hanging; maybe like bananas or kiwis or something, and then trade out my carpet for tampolines, but I think maybe that wouldn't work out with my current set up. These are just some ideas, I'll obviously have to consult my lease before I start any major renovations.
Here's what else is cool. Guess what they wrap their sushi in! Well, obviously, I mean it's mostly seaweed, I don't think that should come as a surprise to anybody, but their soy paper? Is pink!!! Is that not the cutest thing you've ever heard of?? +28 This means it's highly possible for them to have Catherine Martin themed sushi rolls. Which is another thing that they do. Create custom sushi rolls for their customers, and actually put them on the menu, that is. Like they have a Kennedy roll, and a Rachel roll, and one day they're going to have a Catherine Martin roll, and it's going to have a pink soy wrapper and spicy tuna and strawberries and other pink things inside it, and people are going to buy it and think they are donating a portion of their profits to breast cancer, but really I just like the color pink a whole lot.
Look here's what I didn't like. I drank a bottle of Kirin Ichiban when I was there, which is a type of Japanese beer I believe. I drank it because it was happy hour, and foreign beers were priced at $1.75 and Melissa got one and let's face it guys, I'm a follower. I don't even like beer and I got one because Melissa did. Yes, if all my friends jumped off a bridge, I probably would too, especially if it wasn't a particularly high bridge and there was water underneath and not any snakes and I'd practiced to get my swan dive shallow enough. Look here's the thing, I want everyone to know that Japanese beer tastes just as gross as American beer. -9 I don't want to get political here, but people on the internet need to stop making fun of all countries other than Canada (people never make fun of people from Canada because people from Canada are so nice. The exception to this is of course Justin Beiber, who everyone makes fun of but forgets is from Canada) because we're all united by our ability to make really gross beer. I hope this brings everyone together, it was a message to the world.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Food Cravings - a series of haikus
There was the time that
For one semester, my meals
Were hashbrowns and eggs
For the last three weeks
It's been cous-cous (with butter,
'stead of olive oil
Let us be clear here
Food cravings are about my
Period, not health)
Those Wint-O-Green mints
More like individually wrapped
Crack- I can't resist.
Cans of artichokes
Jalapeno stuffed olives
Nutella celery
Those good Biscotti
That when you open in bed
Get crumbs everywhere
Boxes of hot tea
Brewed in dirty coffee pots
Final drops stain cups
What is wrong with me???
I'll listen to the same song
On repeat, for weeks
Wear the same T-shirt
Whenever it's clean (also
Whenever it's not)
Let's just agree to
Call it a Super Power
"Stuck in a Rut Girl"
For one semester, my meals
Were hashbrowns and eggs
For the last three weeks
It's been cous-cous (with butter,
'stead of olive oil
Let us be clear here
Food cravings are about my
Period, not health)
Those Wint-O-Green mints
More like individually wrapped
Crack- I can't resist.
Cans of artichokes
Jalapeno stuffed olives
Nutella celery
Those good Biscotti
That when you open in bed
Get crumbs everywhere
Boxes of hot tea
Brewed in dirty coffee pots
Final drops stain cups
What is wrong with me???
I'll listen to the same song
On repeat, for weeks
Wear the same T-shirt
Whenever it's clean (also
Whenever it's not)
Let's just agree to
Call it a Super Power
"Stuck in a Rut Girl"
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
10 Places In Houston It's OK To Eat At Alone and In Your PJs.
Let's be honest, there are only a few places that I WON'T go in my pajamas. And I'm not just talking about eateries - the grocery store, the museum, the movies. The only place I never wear my pajamas to is class, because that is so overdone and expected. Whether it's a confidence in myself or a confidence in my Hello Kitty pajama bottoms, it's hard to say. But I've noticed a few strange looks as I wonder through displays at the Museum of Natural Science in my pink plaid pajama bottoms and my World's Only Corn Palace sweatshirt. I think this needs to change. People, you should be free to be who you are, no matter what the venue! But I know that not everyone as uninhibited as I am. I am almost positive that my mother's greatest regret was allowing young Catherine to pick out her own clothes in kindergarten - I've felt the same freedom to match my socks to my turtleneck my whole life. You were not cultivated by the same individuality, and so I'm providing for you here ten places where you can go on practice runs in your PJs and not get any strange looks.
1. Pink's Pizza
Pink's Pizza is all about the punk rock lifestyle. What is the punk rock lifestyle, you ask? Punk rock is not caring what punk rock means. Punk rock is giving yourself the freedom to define punk rock for yourself, outside the constraints of what society expects punk rock to mean. Not to mention, being a mostly pickup/delivery place, there are hardly ever customers actually inside the restaurant, and if you want to stop in for a slice I guarantee the employees are going to be so wrapped up in their own punk rock lifestyles to notice if you are even wearing pants, let alone whether or not they are from the same Betty Boop set that your mother bought you for your high school graduation.
2. Torchy's Tacos
Torchy's also lives the punk rock lifestyle, but your sense of anonymity here comes from the fact that no matter what, there are always at least five dozen other people trying to get a taco as well and nobody cares what you're wearing, they just want you to not be in line in front of them. Walking out to your car in the parking lot? There will be no dirty looks from drivers that you didn't bother to shower and impress them; instead, the dirty looks will be that you are not hurrying out of your spot so that they might take it.
3. Whataburger
This is definitely a good place for novices to try out wearing pajamas in public. The Walmart of fast food, the general audience of this fine establishment has generally had to make so much of an effort to even get out of bed that day that any clothing at all seems like a huge bonus. If you've had a hard night of drinking and don't think you'll be able to face the day without an HBCB, don't even try. Find someone else to drive you there, and worry about the logistics of clothing later on.
4. Bernie's Burger Bus
The best thing about Bernie's Burger Bus is that most of the year, they have a bus parked out in front of University of Houston's UC for lunch. If you don't feel like getting dressed in the morning, never fear - just head over to a place where nobody every feels like getting dressed - a college campus. You'll fit right in, I guarantee it. (Incidentally, if you wear real clothes and work in an office and are interested in having a catered visit from Bernie's, feel free to hit up at my new email address, catherine.berniesburgerbus@gmail.com)
5. Buffalo Wild Wings
This is mostly only OK if you go right when they open. I'm speaking from experience on this one guys, having worn pajamas to Buffalo Wild Wings at all different sorts of times on all different sorts of days. This is a sports bar, and people are going to look at you funny if instead of paying attention to the games they are forced to be distracted by your loud, obnoxiously colored pants. In the morning, however, you're more likely to get sympathy from a waitstaff who also wishes they were in their pjs but are, in fact, at Buffalo Wild Wings instead.
6. Prince's Hamburgers
One time I went to Prince's Hamburgers and I asked for the Prince's Original and the girl at the counter replied "The one with the sauce?" as if there was another. These people are far too adorable to care what you are wearing.
7. Moon Tower Inn
Wearing your pajamas to the Moon Tower might actually be better for your rep than not, because people will just assume that you're a hipster making commentary about societal expectations rather than just a really lazy person who had a tough enough time making the decision of whether or not to brush their teeth, let alone what to wear. Order a beer off the menu that nobody has ever heard of, and you'll fit right in with the crowd. (Note: I'd recommend wearing long pajama bottoms here rather than short ones, as there is a risk of splintering on the benches if there is too much exposed skin. You're welcome.)
8. Spanish Flower
Like Buffalo Wild Wings, there are only certain times of the day that you can go to Spanish Flower in your pjs. Part of the day, it's a highly respectable joint that I went to for my graduation dinner and Lady Gaga, in fact, frequents. (If by frequents you of course mean "went to one time and then probably never again") Anytime after about ten pm though you're fine, and that goes until that awkward part of the night when people with real jobs are going out for breakfast and people without real jobs are coming back in from the night. (I'm writing about this time of the night like I know something about it, but I went to bed at 11:30 last night because I was really tired.)
9. Jerry Built
These people have a hand washing station inside their restaurant, guys. These are the craziest dude and dudettes you'll ever meet! One time I went in and the lady handed me some dice and we each rolled and I got a higher number than her and she gave me my food for free! I kid you not! The people who work at Jerry Built are the type that snort cocaine out of the open mouth of a live alligator, and then punch a Grizzly bear for looking at them funny. These people do not mess around, guys. Wearing your pajamas to Jerry Built? Please. They've been wearing their pajamas in public since they were in their mother's uterus.
10. Dot's Diner
Diners are always OK to wear your pajamas to, with one ironclad exception that even I don't break. DO NOT, under any circumstances, wear your pajamas to a diner on a Sunday morning or a Sunday afternoon! That is when diners do not belong to you; they belong to the severest of the church going crowd, and let me tell you, those people are not interested in seeing your brand new green striped pajama bottoms and in fact would much rather you were repenting the sin of wearing them from your home at that very moment.
9.
1. Pink's Pizza
Pink's Pizza is all about the punk rock lifestyle. What is the punk rock lifestyle, you ask? Punk rock is not caring what punk rock means. Punk rock is giving yourself the freedom to define punk rock for yourself, outside the constraints of what society expects punk rock to mean. Not to mention, being a mostly pickup/delivery place, there are hardly ever customers actually inside the restaurant, and if you want to stop in for a slice I guarantee the employees are going to be so wrapped up in their own punk rock lifestyles to notice if you are even wearing pants, let alone whether or not they are from the same Betty Boop set that your mother bought you for your high school graduation.
2. Torchy's Tacos
Torchy's also lives the punk rock lifestyle, but your sense of anonymity here comes from the fact that no matter what, there are always at least five dozen other people trying to get a taco as well and nobody cares what you're wearing, they just want you to not be in line in front of them. Walking out to your car in the parking lot? There will be no dirty looks from drivers that you didn't bother to shower and impress them; instead, the dirty looks will be that you are not hurrying out of your spot so that they might take it.
3. Whataburger
This is definitely a good place for novices to try out wearing pajamas in public. The Walmart of fast food, the general audience of this fine establishment has generally had to make so much of an effort to even get out of bed that day that any clothing at all seems like a huge bonus. If you've had a hard night of drinking and don't think you'll be able to face the day without an HBCB, don't even try. Find someone else to drive you there, and worry about the logistics of clothing later on.
4. Bernie's Burger Bus
The best thing about Bernie's Burger Bus is that most of the year, they have a bus parked out in front of University of Houston's UC for lunch. If you don't feel like getting dressed in the morning, never fear - just head over to a place where nobody every feels like getting dressed - a college campus. You'll fit right in, I guarantee it. (Incidentally, if you wear real clothes and work in an office and are interested in having a catered visit from Bernie's, feel free to hit up at my new email address, catherine.berniesburgerbus@gmail.com)
5. Buffalo Wild Wings
This is mostly only OK if you go right when they open. I'm speaking from experience on this one guys, having worn pajamas to Buffalo Wild Wings at all different sorts of times on all different sorts of days. This is a sports bar, and people are going to look at you funny if instead of paying attention to the games they are forced to be distracted by your loud, obnoxiously colored pants. In the morning, however, you're more likely to get sympathy from a waitstaff who also wishes they were in their pjs but are, in fact, at Buffalo Wild Wings instead.
6. Prince's Hamburgers
One time I went to Prince's Hamburgers and I asked for the Prince's Original and the girl at the counter replied "The one with the sauce?" as if there was another. These people are far too adorable to care what you are wearing.
7. Moon Tower Inn
Wearing your pajamas to the Moon Tower might actually be better for your rep than not, because people will just assume that you're a hipster making commentary about societal expectations rather than just a really lazy person who had a tough enough time making the decision of whether or not to brush their teeth, let alone what to wear. Order a beer off the menu that nobody has ever heard of, and you'll fit right in with the crowd. (Note: I'd recommend wearing long pajama bottoms here rather than short ones, as there is a risk of splintering on the benches if there is too much exposed skin. You're welcome.)
8. Spanish Flower
Like Buffalo Wild Wings, there are only certain times of the day that you can go to Spanish Flower in your pjs. Part of the day, it's a highly respectable joint that I went to for my graduation dinner and Lady Gaga, in fact, frequents. (If by frequents you of course mean "went to one time and then probably never again") Anytime after about ten pm though you're fine, and that goes until that awkward part of the night when people with real jobs are going out for breakfast and people without real jobs are coming back in from the night. (I'm writing about this time of the night like I know something about it, but I went to bed at 11:30 last night because I was really tired.)
9. Jerry Built
These people have a hand washing station inside their restaurant, guys. These are the craziest dude and dudettes you'll ever meet! One time I went in and the lady handed me some dice and we each rolled and I got a higher number than her and she gave me my food for free! I kid you not! The people who work at Jerry Built are the type that snort cocaine out of the open mouth of a live alligator, and then punch a Grizzly bear for looking at them funny. These people do not mess around, guys. Wearing your pajamas to Jerry Built? Please. They've been wearing their pajamas in public since they were in their mother's uterus.
10. Dot's Diner
Diners are always OK to wear your pajamas to, with one ironclad exception that even I don't break. DO NOT, under any circumstances, wear your pajamas to a diner on a Sunday morning or a Sunday afternoon! That is when diners do not belong to you; they belong to the severest of the church going crowd, and let me tell you, those people are not interested in seeing your brand new green striped pajama bottoms and in fact would much rather you were repenting the sin of wearing them from your home at that very moment.
9.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Mai's
It's true guys, it's true. It's been a while since I last updated my blog. Don't worry though, I have an excuse: first I went on vacation to California, and I got into a beach bum, drifter lifestyle where the thought of doing actual work just really repulsed me. (Normally this sort of thing would give me anxiety, but in California you don't have anxiety. It's the promised land, guys. I even flew in an airplane without hyperventilating more than a little bit.) Then I came back to Houston, and as the plane landed all the anxiety that I'd been carefully staving away hit me like a Dunbar armored truck - I'd been in California for however many days (beach bums can't count) and I had. not. gotten. discovered. Here I am, just a girl, standing in front of you - just a girl, not a famous movie actress. I failed not only you my faithful audience, but also all the millions of people living in the United States who, for another movie cycle, will once more be deprived of the privilege of seeing me on the silver screen. So why have I managed to come out of this funk, this depression? Well I'll tell you! Arbitrary criticism - that's right, this very blog, has been nominated for a My Table award! To all of my friends that have already said to me, "huh, what's that," I'll tell you. It's a big f&*#$!@ deal, and I'm nominated for one! So if you could please all go vote for me I'd really appreciate it.
Anywho so I went to Mai's the other day because I've been craving pho like a mo-pho. Normally I don't like that kind of thing because you have to put all the sprouts and jalapenos and basil and stuff in yourself; hello I'm not going to a restaurant to make my own dinner guys -2. Lately though I've been all about the Asian soups so off to Mai's I went.
Here's the thing. So I just bought a new car, a 4runner, and it's basically become my whole life. We do everything together, my 4runner and me. We drive to the movies, we drive to the grocery store, we drive to work, we drive to my boyfriend's house... the best part about my 4runner is that I can play my new Mumford and Sons CD as often as I want, and it will never complain. I want my 4runner to have friends outside of myself; after all, that's the sign of a healthy, thriving relationship. To this end, whenever I pull into a parking lot, I always make sure to hunt down an empty spot next to another 4runner. I'll park a block away if it means my car doesn't get lonely while waiting for me to pick up butter. (Also I like to do this because all 4runners look alike and I'm hoping the owner of the other car will get tricked and try to get in the wrong car and comedy will ensue) Sooooooooo, back to our review, I pulled into Mai's and there wasn't a spot available next to the only 4runner in the lot, but there was a spot across the aisle and I figured that would be OK, they'd still be able to see out of their butts at each other. As I was walking in to the restaurant I stopped to peer in through their window to make sure we didn't have the same seat covers so I wouldn't get confused and have comedy ensue; guess what I saw! They had an anti-theft lock across their steering wheel! -13 Who are these people??? I thought only Nigerian princes and people who won the foreign lottery bought stuff like that. I mean hello seriously I know that car theft is a serious crime that affects dozens of people every day and I wouldn't laugh so hard if I'd had my car stolen, but we live in HOUSTON TEXAS. It was in a busy part of town in the middle of the day there was no reason for one of those, they have mounted police on horses we are not in real danger guys. Plus Mai's is a place with table clothes I don't think you're really at risk there c'mon ya'll.
In other news, what is up with making people by themselves eat at the bar? This is just the meanest joke in the world because I get that I don't need room for another person to sit with me, but I'm not the sort of person that can just go to a place and hang out with myself doing nothing. I don't THINK it's because I'm scared of being alone, guys I think it's just because I'm a busy career woman and I checked too many books out of the library and if I can't read my book when I'm eating by myself, then when will I have the chance? -14 So I'm against sitting singles at the bar when there are clearly tables for them to chill at because they have intentionally come at a non-peak hour. We have more need than others for the space on the table, hello if you're there with your lover you could double up on chairs and if you're there for a lunch meeting then I don't recommend ordering the pho anyway, because it's impossible to eat without looking like nobody ever taught you manners and there's no way you'll get anything accomplished!
There was a bright side to the meal though. Well, other than the pho, which was delicious and definitely worth the lack of a parking spot directly next to another 4runner. When my fortune cookie came it said I was going to come in to a large sum of money soon, so hopefully one of the agents I passed by on the sidewalk in Hollywood will be giving me a call soon.
Anywho so I went to Mai's the other day because I've been craving pho like a mo-pho. Normally I don't like that kind of thing because you have to put all the sprouts and jalapenos and basil and stuff in yourself; hello I'm not going to a restaurant to make my own dinner guys -2. Lately though I've been all about the Asian soups so off to Mai's I went.
Here's the thing. So I just bought a new car, a 4runner, and it's basically become my whole life. We do everything together, my 4runner and me. We drive to the movies, we drive to the grocery store, we drive to work, we drive to my boyfriend's house... the best part about my 4runner is that I can play my new Mumford and Sons CD as often as I want, and it will never complain. I want my 4runner to have friends outside of myself; after all, that's the sign of a healthy, thriving relationship. To this end, whenever I pull into a parking lot, I always make sure to hunt down an empty spot next to another 4runner. I'll park a block away if it means my car doesn't get lonely while waiting for me to pick up butter. (Also I like to do this because all 4runners look alike and I'm hoping the owner of the other car will get tricked and try to get in the wrong car and comedy will ensue) Sooooooooo, back to our review, I pulled into Mai's and there wasn't a spot available next to the only 4runner in the lot, but there was a spot across the aisle and I figured that would be OK, they'd still be able to see out of their butts at each other. As I was walking in to the restaurant I stopped to peer in through their window to make sure we didn't have the same seat covers so I wouldn't get confused and have comedy ensue; guess what I saw! They had an anti-theft lock across their steering wheel! -13 Who are these people??? I thought only Nigerian princes and people who won the foreign lottery bought stuff like that. I mean hello seriously I know that car theft is a serious crime that affects dozens of people every day and I wouldn't laugh so hard if I'd had my car stolen, but we live in HOUSTON TEXAS. It was in a busy part of town in the middle of the day there was no reason for one of those, they have mounted police on horses we are not in real danger guys. Plus Mai's is a place with table clothes I don't think you're really at risk there c'mon ya'll.
In other news, what is up with making people by themselves eat at the bar? This is just the meanest joke in the world because I get that I don't need room for another person to sit with me, but I'm not the sort of person that can just go to a place and hang out with myself doing nothing. I don't THINK it's because I'm scared of being alone, guys I think it's just because I'm a busy career woman and I checked too many books out of the library and if I can't read my book when I'm eating by myself, then when will I have the chance? -14 So I'm against sitting singles at the bar when there are clearly tables for them to chill at because they have intentionally come at a non-peak hour. We have more need than others for the space on the table, hello if you're there with your lover you could double up on chairs and if you're there for a lunch meeting then I don't recommend ordering the pho anyway, because it's impossible to eat without looking like nobody ever taught you manners and there's no way you'll get anything accomplished!
There was a bright side to the meal though. Well, other than the pho, which was delicious and definitely worth the lack of a parking spot directly next to another 4runner. When my fortune cookie came it said I was going to come in to a large sum of money soon, so hopefully one of the agents I passed by on the sidewalk in Hollywood will be giving me a call soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)