Los Dos Amigos

Some of you may be familiar with Los Dos Amigos (5720 Washington) from the Houston Press Top 100 dishes in Houston. I mean I'm sure there's lots of other ways you could be familiar with it, like from your drunken binges on Washington Avenue, you worthless lushes. I'M familiar with it from Houston Press though and so are all the cool kids. Anyway, according to them, THE BEST dish in Houston in 2011 is Los Dos Amigos's cheese enchiladas with fried eggs on top, and guys, I haven't had every dish in Houston or even every dish on their list, but what is better than a fried egg on anything?

Here's the thing guys. I used to hate fried eggs. Just ask my dad, that poor, patient man. We eat breakfast for dinner a lot in my family and he'd always fry eggs for everyone and every time I'd throw a fit. I hate eggs! I'd cry. But I don't mean "I'd cry" like "I'd exclaim" I mean it like I'd actually burst into tears at the kitchen table. Sometimes I'd throw them up afterwards because they made me feel sick. Sometimes I'd make him scramble my eggs separately from the rest of the family's eggs because mine were better and he should love me better than the rest of the family anyway. (Cuz I'm his only daughter and that's just how it works guys.) But then of course after I moved out and my poor father didn't have to deal with my fits, fried eggs and I fell in love. I think it was actually at House of Pies that I realized for the first time the power of the egg yolk mixed with hashbrowns. I saw for the first time the true power that was held within that white shell, the magic that could be created with that rich, yellow chicken fetus. Now I eat fried eggs all the time. Usually mixed with hashbrowns, it's true, the potato has been one of my longest loves, but I'll dip anything into egg yolk. Bread. Bacon. Popsicles. There's nothing that doesn't taste good covered in egg yolk. So of course when Houston Press advertised that Los Dos Amigos had enchiladas covered in chicken's greatest gift to man, I had to get in on it. Like I said, it's ranked as their number one best dish in Houston, and I'm going to go ahead and confirm. +9 million.

Man's Greatest Treasure, Los Dos Amigos, is located in this pink stucco building on Washington Avenue. Incidentally, did you know that parts of Washington are one way? This seems slightly dangerous to me, of course considering the number of bars on Washington Avenue, but mostly because of girls like Melissa and I, weaving through traffic, dangerously faint from the lack of fried eggs in our bellies. -8 But like I said it's in this pink stucco building and we got there at 9:15, only forty five minutes before closing time (sorry I hate people like me too) and the only two cars in the parking lot were those of the lovely proprietress and the cook. This is exactly what I want in my Mexican food. An unassuming business that is completely deserted of all other customers. +19 I like the unassuming businesses because they don't fool anybody! I'm not saying that Pappasito's is bad food, not by any means, they're delicious, and I'm not saying that you're going to find good Mexican food at every taqueria on the side of the road. I am saying, however, that El Real is disgusting and we should leave the Mexican food to the Mexicans. And I like them when they're empty, I'm embarrassed to admit, because I read a lot of Hemingway during my impressionable years and that means I like being alone places where there should be lots of people. You guys dug it out of me. I'm a closet hipster. You know the worst part? I voted for Bill White for governor. A Democrat. I'm nothing that I've pretended to be. -34

Back to Los Dos Amigos, who's never disappointed anyone: there's a sign on the door that says they sell Girl Scout cookies here. Here's the best part: they only take cash for them! They sell boxes of Girl Scout cookies under the table at Los Dos Amigos! What is better than that??? +12 I need everybody in Houston to remember this, I don't know how long the deal is going to last, but the supply of Girl Scout cookies is drying up in this city. Every day I see a new empty box of Thin Mints in the apartment trash can as my roommates and I slowly eat through the stores we've hoarded for ourselves. Soon we're all going to get that drawn look on our faces, that starved, hopeless look that means we know we've seen heaven and we know that we've lost it for the next eleven months. I want everyone to know that there is hope. There is still Los Dos Amigos, and they can provide for us.

That's about all the information you guys need for today. Everyone have a nice day, stay pretty, email me at arbitrarycriticism@live.com.