Ragin' Cajun

We better just start with this sordid story at the beginning. During oyster season last year, I expressed desire to my then boss to find a place in Houston to partake of this magnificent sea creature. He suggested Ragin' Cajun, but at that point I didn't trust his judgement and to this day I'm not convinced he's ever been there sober, suggesting that his particular advice in the culinary world is not to be believed. My father shucked us some oysters over Thanksgiving break of that year, and that was that for my oyster desires of 2010. 2011 was sadly empty of oysters; my friends described them as "snotty" and "gross". I'D like to point out that in the oyster world, a PEARL is actually the mucus-y excretion generated in response to sand entering the beast; anybody who uses to word gross to describe anything deserves an immediate demotion to third grade ANYWAY! But I can't go that long without oysters, guys. I'm sure you know that oyster season ends at the end of April; oysters can only be eaten in months that contain an R. A spelling lesson for you: this means you cannot eat oysters in May, June, July, August, or Tuesday. I had to act fast! A beacon from the darkness came: a second recommendation, a year later, for Ragin' Cajun. I was sold. I'll do anything for gross, snotty slimeballs.

Then I stepped into Ragin' Cajun for the first time. Have any of you guys ever been there before? Oh. My. God. It is THE tackiest place in the universe. The inside looks like an LSU frat house, every surface covered in bumper stickers and sports paraphernalia. There's a framed picture of the LSU tiger next to the soda fountain. OK I actually kind of liked that I love tigers. +3 But seriously guys! This place is gross and snotty! One of the doorways is just lined with wine corks, like they're insulation. The door was removed, and to replace it, they lined the entire doorway with wine corks. I'd say it's the sort of thing I'd do, but obviously I only drink wine that comes with a screw top since it's cheaper. I'm just kidding guys even I don't sink that low. On one wall was a poster explaining how to eat crawfish, but instead of them they wrote dem, and instead of heads, they spelled it haids. Forget an LSU frat house, it just seemed like the entire state of Louisiana in there, and everybody knows my stance on Louisiana. -9000.

It wasn't just the tackiness, either! That place is so freaking loud! I went on a Saturday, and so did everybody else in a sixteen block radius, it seemed! Everyone and their mom goes to Ragin' Cajun, they have these stupid community tables so if they run out of space you have to sit with PERFECT STRANGERS, and on top of everything else, they were playing really loud music! Guys, I hate loud things! I even get irritated when my fan is turned up to the loudest setting, because it gets distracting and I can't hear myself talk out loud to myself! -45 So that was my initial impression of Ragin' Cajun, guys. Loud and tacky. Once again, just like the entire state of Louisiana.

But guys seriously you have to go there. I've never enjoyed cajun food before, if it weren't for the oysters I never would have stayed within the confines of that building for more than three minutes. I wanted to leave anyway. To me, cajun food tastes like somebody got a handful of something out of a trashcan and then covered it in way too much pepper. But Ragin' Cajun? Guys, they might have made a believer out of me. They had really nice, large sized, cold oysters, and I ate my first boudin. I couldn't even pronounce that word before I went to Ragin' Cajun, and now I can say that I've eaten an entire one! Have you guys had that before? It tastes like a Vienna sausage that's been stuffed with rice! Who could ask for anything tastier? +34 I love Vienna sausage! I can usually take or leave rice! They serve it with pickles and onions and mustard! It's a true love story! I ate a po' boy that changed my life, I ate some fried crawfish, I would have eaten my napkin if I'd been alone. My advice to everyone is to go there and just wait until your food is served until you pass judgment (and that's the other thing! They were packed to the gills, but our food came SO FAST. I'm just saying House of Pies should certainly take a page out of there book.) I know I always promise you guys not to talk about the food, but this is the one place where nothing else BUT the food matters.

Anyways that's about it. Have a wonderful day and email me nice things at arbitrarycriticism@live.com!